The Decision To Visit My Father

Just before Christmas, my wife Karla and I were thinking about the idea of visiting my father in Maui, but we weren’t sure about it because it was so far to travel from Washington D.C. I called my Dad and we talked about the idea, and then I said that I would need a few days to talk it over with Karla, that I couldn’t promise anything, but that we would think about it and liked the idea.

Karla and I talked about it and decided it was just too far to go this time given the amount of time we had to rest from a busy year. I wasn’t looking forward to calling my Dad, as I knew he would be disappointed. Three days later, I called him.
           “How are you doing?” I asked.
           “We are doing well, just hoping that you have good news that you will be visiting us.”
           “I’m afraid that I don’t have good news, Dad. I think it’s just too far considering the time we have. We love the idea of visiting, but think it would be better for another time.”
           Without missing a beat, my father replied, “You must feel tired, you have been working so hard and also juggling so much with your upcoming book release and all the other things going on in your life.”
           “Exactly. We really want to come, but it’s also our first holiday season in our new home, and we want to spend some time here and just wind down from a busy year.”
           “You have been doing so much, I am sure you are looking forward to a break,” my Dad replied.
           After a few more minutes of conversation, I hung up the phone and Karla and I went for a walk.
          
           “My Dad was so sweet,” I told Karla. He was so understanding and compassionate about our situation.” I felt my heart full with my father. I also started to feel a compelling desire to visit him.
           “Your father is such a nice person,” Karla said. “Maybe we should go spend some time with him.”
           I looked at her, and we both knew something had changed; something we had to honor.
          “My father has learned what I have been teaching about communication,” I shared. “He’s beaten me at my own game.” I shook my head, and we both laughed. 

An hour later, we were back at home, booking our flight to Hawaii. 

It was one of the best trips we’ve ever had. I felt really connected with my Dad. He was fully present, which is what I, and all of us, want more than anything from the people we love.