The best friend you can have is like a brother or sister.The best brother or sister you can have is like a friend.
At any point in time, some of our friends desire to be closer to us and some wish to be more distant.
The irony of craving for less social distance from specific friends is that there are other friends who crave the same from us whom we routinely ignore.
Instead of continually playing a role in this food chain where less social distance is the coveted gourmet meal, you can make the decision to step off the hamster wheel of incessant striving for unreciprocated closeness and open your eyes to those people who, right here and now, are making the effort to spend time with you.
The others, if they are true friends, will eventually come around. If they don’t, the friendship was not much more than a mental construction you needed to cling to in order to feel less lonely in this world.
You can now make the choice to move on and appreciate those who both share your desire for closeness and have the capacity to co-create a healthy and meaningful relationship with you.
Stop and take a moment to bring a specific friend into your mind. Try to recognize the level of closeness they want with you in this present moment. Acknowledge the level of closeness that you, in turn, desire with this friend.
Visualize a few steps you can take to develop the friendship given your perception of the social distance both you and they can handle.
This week, take some of these steps.
Anthony Silard is the president of The Global Leadership Institute and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday every other week in your inbox and a free copy of Anthony's new audio CD, "The Surprising Source of Your Passion", enter your email here (1-step only).