Monday, June 10, 2019

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Create the Intimate Relationship You Desire

Life requires you to learn and then balance two foundational skills: how to choose how you want to live, and how to live with what you choose.
--- Anthony Silard

About ten years ago, I was wrestling with my inner demons about commitment and went on a walk along the Potomac River outside of Washington, DC with a close family friend who had been married to his wife for over forty years.

“How have you managed it,” I asked him.

Robert looked at the turbulent rapids and thought for a while. Then he said, “I think the best advice I ever received was from my aunt, while I was fixing my tuxedo just before Charlene and I were married.”

He had my attention. “She said, ‘Robert, always remember this: Whatever Charlene does, just give. No matter what happens, always give. And you two will be fine.’”

Robert helped me to understand what marriage truly means: commitment to giving to the other person through thick and thin.

Challenging advice to hear at the time. When you’re single, it’s all about you: choosing how you want to live. That’s what you need to do: go exactly for what you want (without stepping on anyone along the way) because later you’ll be living with your choices.

As Robert’s aunt illumined, it’s not about you anymore once you’re married. Especially once you have kids.

Don’t get me wrong: you’re still important—the way a servant is important. You are still a human being, but not one that’s being served anymore; instead, you are now serving others.

In so doing, you enable your potential future spouse and children to build their lives around you. This is both the rawest and most rewarding form of leadership available to humankind.

This week, reflect on how you wish to live in this area of your life so you can later live with what you choose.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Center for Social Leadership, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Washington, DC and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday every other week, enter your email here (1-step only). To support The Center for Social Leadership's Young Leaders Program for disadvantaged youth either directly or through Amazon.com purchases, click here.

Monday, May 13, 2019

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Build Meaningful Relationships

Loneliness is the poverty of self; 
solitude is the richness of self.
--- May Sarton

Loneliness has become the suffering of our generation. Yet it’s important to note that loneliness and solitude are not the same.

Another way to think about it is that social isolation is objective: if you are physically alone, you are isolated. Loneliness or solitude, however, are subjective. They are emotional states that emerge from how you perceive your social isolation.

Just as one person’s trash is another’s treasure, two people can each be physically alone and one can experience a devastating rejection and abandonment by others while the other can feel an ineffable wholeness and oneness with the world independent of—or interdependent with—the other people in their life.

In fact, believe it or not, the same person can feel both in the same day; such is the ephemeral nature of emotions.

This distinction between loneliness and solitude is an age-old, perennial issue human beings have been managing for centuries. Yet thanks to our smartphones and digital devices, we seem to be edging toward a collective loneliness—subjective, negatively experienced isolation—unlike any we have previously experienced

This week, make a commitment to enhance how you engage with others. When you find yourself rushing around and experiencing the superficial conversations that induce loneliness, take some time to slow down and reflect on how you approach your relationships. Then reengage with others in a more meaningful way.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Center for Social Leadership, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Washington, DC and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday every other week, enter your email here (1-step only). To support The Center for Social Leadership's Young Leaders Program for disadvantaged youth either directly or through Amazon.com purchases, click here.

Friday, May 3, 2019

Are you ready to build community with us?




“I’m putting my trust in renowned keynote speaker and workshop leader Anthony Silard to help me learn the rules of some rather complex games, this one called ‘life’ in particular.”

- Marshall Goldsmith, author of the New York Times best sellers, MOJO and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

You are invited to our Compassionate Communication Workshop tomorrow, May 4th, 2019 in Claremont, CA. This is a donation-based event whose proceeds go to foster youth leadership programs in San Bernardino. Our facilitator Dr. Silard has taught the art of communication to hundreds of thousands of executives over the past 25+ years and can help you communicate better and create a compassionate heart connection.

Ready to get connected with your community and learn to communicate more effectively? See the attached flyer or visit us at Meetup.com/Got-Disconnection for more information. Want to help build community with us? Spread the word by sharing our event with family, friends, and coworkers!


Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Do you want to create a compassionate heart connection?



“Anthony’s mini-workshop was outstanding! The explanations were clear and accessible, his presence was both humble and strong, and the process introduced worked very well. The concepts introduced have great value at every level of communication. We had nearly 30 people show up (an unusually large crowd)—a demonstration not only of trust in him, but also a strongly-felt need for...less hurtful communication. I am so impressed with what he has done, and with the humble generosity of his heart."

- Steven Smith, Professor Emeritus of Philosophy, 
   Claremont McKenna College

You are invited to our Compassionate Communication Workshop on May 4th, 2019 in Claremont, CA. This is a donation-based event whose proceeds go to foster youth leadership programs in San Bernardino. Our facilitator Dr. Silard has taught the art of communication to hundreds of thousands of executives over the past 25+ years and can help you communicate better and create a compassionate heart connection.

Ready to get connected with your community and learn to communicate more effectively? See the attached flyer or visit us at Meetup.com/Got-Disconnection for more information. Want to help build community with us? Spread the word by sharing our event with family, friends, and coworkers!


Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Do you strive to be a successful leader?


A Harvard study found that 85% of a leader’s success is attributable to personal character. Leadership—whether personal or organizational—hinges on the development of character. Anthony Silard, Ph.D. defines leadership as “the capacity to develop multiple key relationships toward a common purpose.”


Anthony Silard, Ph.D. has taught the art of communication to over hundreds of thousands of executives over the past 25+ years. He has developed an interactive and engaging model that creates a simulated environment and enables anyone to work through their most sensitive issues with the people they most care about. You are invited to our Compassionate Communication Workshop on May 4th, 2019 in Claremont, CA. This is a donation-based event whose proceeds go to foster youth leadership programs in San Bernardino. Facilitator Dr. Silard holds the belief that in these divided times, we cannot build community without the ability to effectively communicate. 

Ready to get connected with your community and learn to communicate more effectively? Visit us at Meetup.com/Got-Disconnection for more information. Want to help build community with us? Spread the word by sharing our event with family, friends, and coworkers!

Monday, April 22, 2019

Smile, It’s Monday: Your Weekly Wake-up Call to Build Meaningful Relationships

Man wishes to be happy even when he so lives
 as to make happiness impossible.
---  Saint Augustine
Social media has, strangely, created its own demand. By isolating you from your friends, your loneliness becomes greater and you feel more motivated by what the British psychologist Pamela Qualter calls the “reaffiliation motive” to check your social media and see what your friends are doing.

In some ways, social media is like calling the delivery number of a pizza franchise in your neighborhood. The more frequently you order, the fatter and less capable of walking outside to a grocery store or restaurant you become.

So what do you do? You call the delivery number more often to save yourself from an increasingly challenging walk (to real, face-to-face connection).

By putting you in contact with the many who matter little to you (e.g., former classmates, friends of friends) it diminishes your ability to connect in real time with the few who do.

Yet you still crave the intimate connection that only real-time interaction produces, which expands your demand for what seems the most effortless way to tap into it—ironically, the technology that’s stamped it out of your life—social media.

So, like the pizza chain gleefully delivering delicious garbage to your home, social media throws you overboard and then dangles a life preserver in front of your flailing, desperately lonely, sputtering body. You never quite make it back into the boat of human connection, but neither do you have the capability to swim away.

This week, come up with a strategy to titrate your use of social media and revitalize your experience of real life.

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Anthony Silard is the president of The Center for Social Leadership, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Washington, DC and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday every other week, enter your email here (1-step only). To support The Center for Social Leadership's Young Leaders Program for disadvantaged youth either directly or through Amazon.com purchases, click here.

Saturday, April 20, 2019

Are you craving connection with your community?


A Cigna study released in April of last year found that approximately 50 percent of Americans are lonely. We now spend less time outside interacting with others in our community and more time isolated indoors behind a screen. Psychologist Jean Twenge of San Diego State University and others have found that the suicide rate and depression have skyrocketed while self-esteem is at an all-time low.

Are you craving connection with your community? Do you need a change in your communication style? You are invited to our Compassionate Communication Workshop on May 4th, 2019 in Claremont, CA. This is a donation-based event whose proceeds go to foster youth leadership programs in San Bernardino. Facilitator, Anthony Silard, Ph.D. has taught the art of communication to over hundreds of thousands of executives over the past 25+ years and can help you communicate better and create this compassionate heart connection.

Ready to get connected with your community and learn to communicate more effectively? Visit us at Meetup.com/Got-Disconnection for more information. Want to help build community with us? Spread the word by sharing our event with family, friends, and coworkers!