There is a word in Swahili, kutoboa, which means ‘to unearth.’ East Africans use it to let you know they are about to go deep. To the core. To break it down. To explain what’s really going on.
You have to consistently place time with yourself as one of your priorities if you want to kutoboa and dis-cover (read: uncover) your vision, which is covered with layer upon layer of people, activities, appointments, attachments, ‘should’s’, concerns about deadlines, anxieties, fears, guilt about the past, and worries about the future.
You can make a concerted effort to remove these layers one at a time as you would peel an onion—until you uncover the core (ignore: an onion has no core).
You don’t have to go anywhere to rediscover yourself. Renewing your self-relationship does not involve seeking; it involves seeing.
Seeing what has caused you suffering in your life. Seeing how you’ve handled that suffering—including any dysfunctional habits you may have picked up along the way to avoid it, including constant texting, retail therapy, alcohol, emotionally shutting down, and so on.
This week, take some time to reflect on your life and what truly motivates you. Spend some time in reflection and you will feel more present and engaged with the people in your life.
You will begin to see them less as obstacles to pursuing your goals and more as opportunities to learn, share ideas, and form lasting connections.
Anthony Silard is the president of The Center for Social Leadership, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization based in Washington, DC and the author of the Simon & Schuster book The Connection: Link Your Passion, Purpose, and Actions to Make a Difference in the World. To receive Smile, It's Monday every other week, enter your email here (1-step only). To support The Center for Social Leadership's Young Leaders Program for disadvantaged youth either directly or through Amazon.com purchases, click here.